Apps. Social media groups. Websites. Texts.
Welcome to the world of dating 2018, where connecting with a possible love match comes down to how proficient you are at taking selfies and how willing you are to engage in witty, often suggestive banter. Yes, just getting someone to “swipe right” can be tough work and it all comes down to your online profile. What’s the best sort of profile picture? Apparently you want something natural but obviously want to show yourself in the best possible light. There are countless blogs and articles breaking down the steps to a “successful dating profile”, giving tips on whether or not to use that Snapchat filter of a cat you so love or going with a candid group photo of you and your mates. They compare thoughtful bios with those that are tongue in cheek. Exactly how much information should you put on your profile? Share too much and prospective matches may tar you with the “too full on/needy” brush while saying nothing means you’re only “up for some fun”. Following me here? We haven’t even got to the bit where you actually interact with someone and I’m feeling overwhelmed!
A world of possibilities?
Speaking to many girlfriends who are or have been in the online dating scene, the stories are often humorous, sometimes creepy and most often frustrating. The outright rude and sexually explicit requests sent via these online dating services would blow some people’s minds! Then there are the ones that text a match for weeks, drawing the other into long winded conversations all typed out on the small screens of their phone, read and read again for meaning, who then disappear as soon as an actual “date” is suggested. Even if they don’t disappear and make the effort to show up to a real life date, more often than not you find the witty banter is nowhere to be found. Nights of deep conversation and flirting are now replaced with the awkwardness of sitting on a date with someone you have no real life spark with. That elusive “connection” you thought you had was nothing more than people playing make-believe, their confidence to be whatever they want to be bolstered by the safety of being behind a little hand-held screen. Urgghh!
Let me pencil you in!
Then there are those frequenting these online dating sites whom desperately need a reality check. I’m all for self-confidence and aiming high but keeping in touch with reality is not a bad thing. Most of us are average; the hint here is in the word itself. Most of us have average jobs, earn an average paycheck and have average looks. I’m not saying you can’t present yourself in your best light, but hey, remember that you are not walking around behind that fabulous filter on your phone. The funny thing is, despite the overwhelming number of us “average people”, so many singles think they are going to land the next Jennifer Hawkins or Channing Tatum in their lives. So with this is mind, know that while these singles may like you, the dreaded FOMO may rear its ugly head and they’ll keep you on the back burner; just in case something better comes along. Lovely.
Awesome. You’ve been benched.
I’m not going to even try to explain or go into the random texting language that is used by people younger and cooler than myself. I swear it’s another language entirely and if someone replies to me using acronyms and/or shortened words in every other sentence, I know for certain that we are not going to work out. What I am becoming familiar with, are dating terms. If you’ve ever read anything about dating over the recent years you’ll have come across these terms and made up words that basically explain peoples rude behaviour. Ghosting. Stashing. Benching. Flexting. Zombie-ing. Catch and Release. Breadcrumbing. Cushioning. Catfishing. Slow Fade. Cuffing Season. Look them up if you’re not familiar, I’ll admit that I had to for some of them. Apparently as someone entering the world of dating in this day and age you need to be aware of all the douche-baggery out there. You’re welcome!
Now I’ll admit that I don’t go out that often these days so I can’t speak from too much present experience, but I wonder? Do singles go out and still strike up conversation with others hoping to find a spark? Do they look around them, interacting in the real world without having to first check their app to see who’s in the same GPS location as them? I really hope so, because the thought of only ever being able to meet someone while wading through the fake world of online dating is nothing short of depressing.
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