Breastfeeding. A topic that has been getting quite a bit of airtime as of late. Women have shared their personal stories of being shamed and/or humiliated while feeding their child in public and gathered huge support online, with the odd negative comment thrown in. Celebrities have shared their breastfeeding pics on Instagram. Breastfeeding advocates and formula feeding mums have been at loggerheads across many media platforms. “Social experiment” videos have been shared and liked thousands of times showing the different reactions a woman revealing part of her breasts in a “sexy way” receives to that of a breastfeeding mum, watch the video here – Sexy vs Breastfeeding in public. Hotels social media pages have been flooded with complaints after a mother was asked to leave a prepaid event in order to feed her 6 week old child in a toilet. There are many, many different sites, pages, videos, posts, memes, messages and comments all over the internet debating about the appropriateness of where, when, what and how you should feed your child. Crazy right?
I’ve got to say, when debating this issue both sides can get a little cray cray! I’m definitely pro breastfeeding and I will support a mother’s right to breastfeed her baby when, where and however she needs to. Babies do not run on a timer. Babies are little humans with their own wants and needs and they are 100% reliant on their parent to meet those said wants and needs. If they are hungry in the middle of a shopping trip or in the middle of a sit down lunch, they need to be fed. You can’t just tell a 6 month old to just wait patiently as you don’t want to offend anyone. Ridiculous right? We don’t want to eat our dinner in a toilet, why should a baby? Why does feeding your baby mean you have to excuse yourself and find some dark corner in order to appease others? I have seen many women and friends breastfeed. They mange to do so without making a song and dance about it, they simply get baby sorted and carry on with whatever it was they were doing.
I am totally on board with normalising breastfeeding. What I don’t get is the hate some (no not all) of these women, who will fight tooth and nail for their right to breastfeed, then put on to other mothers that are not able or choose not to breastfeed. I also don’t get breastfeeding photo shoots for the reason of “normalising” breastfeeding. A photo shoot to celebrate mother and child which includes a few breastfeeding shots is great, but I really don’t understand how it portrays normalcy. Feeding your child “normally” doesn’t usually involve lying on the beach and having waves crashing over you while you are staring lovingly at a camera. I have never sat naked in a woven hammock, surrounded by lush gardens while wearing a garland of flowers in my hair and feeding either one of my children. I love the photos that I have seen, some of my friends have been involved in photo shoots that are gorgeous, but the photos are not a snap shot of what a breastfeeding mother and her child normally look like. They are a glamour shoot. A glamour shoot with your baby and while that’s totally cool and really lovely it’s not reality.
When you really break down the debate of public breastfeeding and breastfeeding vs bottle it comes down to the language that gets used. It puts people offside. Breastfeeding in a public place is met with words like indecent, inconsiderate and gross, all of which are not fitting. Comparing breastfeeding a child to other natural acts like urinating, defecating and sex is just plain stupid. Calling a formula feeding mum lazy and selfish and questioning her “connection” with her child is insulting. All sides need to stop the finger pointing, name calling, shaming and the vitriol.
My stance on all of this is pretty simple. Babies get hungry. They need milk to thrive. If you are able to breastfeed and wish to do so, power to you! If you chose or find yourself having to use formula to feed your baby, great! If you decide to express and do mix feeds in order to nourish your little one, well good for you! Fed is best. Full stop. When it comes to breastfeeding in public the bottom line is that the law is on the mothers side. No need to question a mother when feeding her child and no need for “breastfeeding sit ins”. The following are the rules in Australia in regards to discrimination –
Sex Discrimination Act 1984
Discrimination on the basis of sex, marital or relationship status, pregnancy or potential pregnancy, breastfeeding, family responsibilities, sexual orientation, gender identity, and intersex status.
Sexual harassment is also prohibited under this Act.
Discrimination in employment, including discrimination against commission agents and contract workers, partnerships, qualifying bodies, registered organisations, employment agencies, education, provision of goods, services and facilities, accommodation, disposal of land, clubs, administration of Commonwealth laws and programs, and superannuation.
My personal experience while being a part of mothers groups, online forums and the like; I have seen many breast feeding mums supported while formula feeding mums have not always been afforded the same level of support. Luckily for me the groups I have remained in have lovely women who support each other despite their differences. I’ve seen the studies and I’ve been told that formula is not the “best” option. For some it is actually the only option. So while I completely support a woman and her right to breastfeed I will not stand by while others are belittled for not doing so. For those breastfeeding mothers that are out to tell everyone else what they are doing isn’t “best” here’s a link for you.
It may be very naive of me but I wish we could just concentrate on all the great things we as mothers are doing for our children. The love and support we are giving them to ensure they become the very best versions of themselves for the future is what’s important. Yes there are some parents out there not doing the right thing, but unless you see a parent giving their newborn a Snickers Milkshake or their 12 month old a beer chaser, there is no need for name calling about the way someone feeds their baby. It’s down right silly and just causes division. So here’s to mothers everywhere, doing their best and supporting each other.
Comments