Some people are really lucky and are able to maintain their friendships from school through to their twenties and beyond. Some of us just haven’t. Not that I’m not friendly with people I went to school with, living in Adelaide means you’re sure to bump into someone you know at some point, and then there is Facebook, which means although I haven’t spoken face to face with some of these people for 20 years, we “like” each other and our posts every other week! Ha ha! I have written before about how I lost quite a few friendships along the way through some bad decisions and circumstance. My self-esteem was so battered while with my ex that I really felt that I didn’t know how to make friends and had started to buy into his description of my being “socially retarded”. Yes. He really did say that, and regularly.
Fast forward to the end of 2017 and I’m feeling quietly confident that the lonely girl I once was isn’t coming back for anyone. I have maintained a friendship from my early twenties, we met while hairdressing and she is one of the most genuine women I know. There have been periods of time when we didn’t see each other that much, but now with us both being mum’s and having kids just months apart, we see each other or talk often. I also have another friend I made from a circle of friends I had while in my late twenties. The relationship that introduced us fizzled, but the friendship didn’t. I don’t see her as often as I should, life makes things hard sometimes, but I know when we do catch up it’s like no time has passed at all!
Making new friends in your 30’s (or at any age really!) can be a daunting task but I think it’s safe to say becoming a Kindy mum has made it possible me. I found a walking partner who has become a friend this year and by shedding the insecurities and just chatting and having a laugh, I’ve been invited back for coffee after drop off and actually gone! I met up with one of the Kindy mum’s while out Christmas shopping this week. She was with her mum, I was with mine, and we met up for a coffee and a chat. It’s such a simple thing, not something out of the ordinary, but I have to tell you, sitting there enjoying myself was the best. I know you shouldn’t dwell on the past, especially when that past is negative, but sitting there chatting, laughing and enjoying a new friend’s company I did a big mental “F U” to the ex. And it felt great!
I tell my kids to be friendly, to be nice, to be kind, to stick up for themselves and for others. To be confident, true and proud of whom they are, because we are all different and we all have something great to offer the world. I’m finally starting to take my own advice and it feels good.
2017 has been an interesting year. It has been a year of big changes and growth for my little family of three and I bet next year will have even more in store for us (Master E is going to be a school kid! Arggghhh!). To that, I say bring it on. I know life could and most likely will throw me a few curve balls along the way, but I’m confident with the good people I have around me, family and friends both, I’ll be able to meet any challenge head on.
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