Is this a short dress or a long top?
When did fashion become so confusing? Enter the most awkward decades imaginable for women trying to dress well. I swear that finding something to wear in my twenties wasn’t nearly as hard. Yes, I may have put on a kilo (or 5) but I knew what worked for me before the big 3 0 struck. Now I’m stuck between feeling like “mutton dressed as lamb” or “This would look great on you, Mum”.
I want to be a monster! (Care of my 4-year-old son)
Monsters are cool. Every kid wants to be one. Didn’t picture actually making the costume though.
What should be in my bio on (insert dating app here)?
O M G. Yes I just wrote that. What the hell does one write or if one refuses to partake in the 2017 pastime of dating apps, say to a potential love match? Does one be witty, smart, and maybe even self-depreciating? My god it’s a minefield. Just take a look at the many Snapchat stories dedicated to “What Makes You Hot” to boggle the mind even further.
Am I allowed to watch the iPad? (Also care of Master E)
iPads are cool. Yes they are. But my god are they a gateway to mindless drivel posted by strange people. Be careful everyone. Watch what your kids are watching. Monitor.
When was the last time the kids saw their dad?
When I set out on my parenting journey I never imagined that this question would need to be asked. Turns out its a common question.
So where did it go wrong?
Who else thought they would have it all together once you entered your 30’s? Ha Ha!!! Me too? Jokes on us it would seem!
What exactly are you looking for in a partner?
You know what? I have no idea. No, that’s a lie, of course I know some of the things I’m looking for, but the list of things I know I don’t want is growing.
Do you have any shoes like this with a shorter heel?
So practice make perfect. Or something like that. I haven’t worn really high heels for years and now I struggle. I can’t believe I got around in some of the shoes I did in my 20’s. I seriously thought I was living in some Sex and the City alternate reality (i.e. I live in Adelaide not even closely resembling the Big Apple 😜). These days I would rather a great night of dancing and fun with a shorter heel than the suffering that comes with some of those killer shoes. Call me old.
Do I really need another glass of wine tonight?
Hangovers. Yes I had a hangover or two in my 20’s but the repercussions were nowhere near as catastrophic the next day compared to today. Age has something to do with it I’m sure, but there is another more pressing reason to question the alcohol intake, kids. Hangover + Parenting + Toddlers = Torture.
Do you want to come over for a Dawson’s Creek night?
Yes. I watch Dawson’s Creek DVDs with my sister while we talk crap and drink wine. I was and will always be a Pacey fan. Saying that, I would never have asked to re-watch shows like this in my 20’s because I was far too busy having a social life! How times have changed!
Am I too old to go to a music festival?
Never! Well maybe. I actually said this out loud last week while I was reminiscing about past festivals and bands I’d seen. I’m not saying you’re ever too old but the question did flash up in conversation.
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