Empathy is the capacity to understand what another person is experiencing from within the other person’s frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s shoes. - Wikipedia
And it seems to have gone missing.
You watch the news or any morning news/entertainment program, read a newspaper or a magazine, or get on to any social media platform and you will see it. The finger pointing, the blame game, the judgement. The absolute damnation of whole groups of people who aren’t like “us”. No, not a race issue, not a religious issue. I’m talking about Australians judging other Australians. Especially those Australians who are not doing so well as “ourselves”. I have seen and read so many stories and commentary about those stories where any sense of compassion or empathy seems to be missing completely. The name-calling and generalisation of some of our fellow countrymen is disgusting.
It seems that a joint effort between the media and our government would have us believe that Australia has a growing problem of welfare “bludgers”. All these irresponsible people mooching off the government and in turn all the “hard-working tax payers” are living a life of laziness punctuated by the pack of cigarettes they smoke, the alcohol they consume and the possible drug addiction they got themselves into. And don’t forget the kids. The army of kids these people are having just for the benefits they’ll receive. A generalisation? Yes, a huge one, but that doesn’t matter when you’re selling a story or making a comment on Facebook.
Here’s a link to an article that debunks the theory that we are a country with an expanding welfare problem. The truth about ‘bludgers’: welfare dependency in Australia is falling.
And the comments? Many people think they can give their opinion even if it has no basis in fact and means disregarding other people’s feelings. Yes, yes, free speech and all that, but does that give us free rein to put other people down? I saw a post on Facebook today about schools providing breakfast to children as many kids are rocking up to start their day without having had breakfast at home. Breakfast is an important meal of the day; we have all been told this and these little bodies need the right kind of fuel to start their day of learning. Whether it’s a case of mismanaged time, busy schedules where kids are dropped off at out of school hours care at 6:30am, fussy eaters, kids not wanting to eat early or simply not having the food to give them, so many comments went into brutal judgement mode.
The biggest, most common and loaded question? Why have kids if you can’t afford them? And then, who can’t afford Weetbix? Bread is only $1.00. So many people, who have obviously not experienced the hardship of struggling financially, pointing fingers. First of all, people’s circumstances can change. According to one poster this morning this doesn’t happen overnight. I beg to differ. You may be in a loving relationship when you start your family, you may be in full-time, good paying employment, you may be healthy with no issues to speak of and then BAM! Something unexpected happens. Redundancy, marriage and relationship breakdown, housing availability and affordability, illness, injury, death. These are just some of the curve balls life can throw at you. After you’ve already had your children. What should you do then? And for those children who are from homes where the people responsible for caring for them are letting them down? What about them? Can we just forget about blaming the parents for a second, yes they should be held accountable, but lets focus on helping these kids?
SBS recently aired the program Struggle Street. A group of people struggling on a daily basis set against a backdrop of disadvantage that many Australians have no idea actually exists. Drug use, unemployment and mental health were just some of the challenges represented by this show. And again, the commentary about the people in this show was nothing short of degrading. Yes, watching a pregnant woman smoke a bong, smoke cigarettes while in labour and joke about calling a daughter Crystal after the drug crystal meth was uncomfortable did not sit well with me either. I am not excusing her choices or her behaviour but she too was born to a mother battling addiction. She was a “methadone baby”. She is just another human born into a cycle of disadvantage, unemployment and lack of education. Yes, some people fight their way out. Some manage to better themselves and their situation and go on to live what we would consider a “successful” life. But just how much harder is it for them to get there? How many more obstacles do they have to overcome compared to others? Many say we are a product of our environment and these people who were once children themselves are growing up in an environment of hardship, struggle and disadvantage.
And we judge.
The term “Aussie Battler” was once used as a term of endearment to those doing it tougher than the majority. Australian’s were known to fight for the underdog, to live by the code of “mateship”, to look out for each other. Our communities are so segregated these days. The idea of our national community is bogus. Just because you are not struggling or have never struggled to put food on the table does not mean it’s not happening in your neighbour’s house. Living expenses are on the up. Childcare is expensive. Rent is not cheap. Paying a mortgage takes a big chunk out of many families wages. Years ago banks were throwing credit at people who could ill afford it.
I’m not saying you have to go out on a food drive. I’m not saying that people should be on benefits long-term without trying to improve their circumstances. I’m not telling you to go without or telling you should feel guilty because you’re not one of those struggling. What I am saying is lets all have a little bit of understanding, compassion and empathy towards our fellow-man. Instead of slinging insults and bringing others down, how about we support initiatives which help those less fortunate and help raise each other up. Think of others, expand your thoughts beyond your comfortable little bubble and be the change you want to see.
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